Monday Reflections: A case of the Mondays

The morning struggle is very real.
Why can’t responsibilities just disappear.
Resting in my comfy bed is more than ideal.

There’s tons of paperwork on my desk.
There’s always another email to check.
This place is far from picturesque.

I wish everything could be more simple.
Could all the boring and bad just fizzle?
Can’t it all just be a bit more blissful?

They say tomorrow things will get better.
Will this good news come in the form of a newsletter?
Or is this information just another error?

Time goes so slow when all you want to do is leave.
I want to think it will soon be over, but I’m in disbelief.
Today will eventually end, but there’s always another eve.

Is it possible to return to childish freedoms with no responsibilities?
Am I right to say this dream could be a possibility?
I know the answer is NO so I guess I’ll take all accountabilities.

Adulting can sometimes be difficult, and it be would be nice to have more stay in your pj kind of days. But at one point, we all have to grow up.

 

Monday Reflections: One Moment

One moment is all it takes for your life to change.
One moment is all it takes for your heart to break.

In one moment, your mind painfully takes over.
In one moment, your body seizes and loses control.

Overtime, you’ll come to feel lonely and defeated.
Overtime, you’ll regain some normalcy and hope.

And then you’re shattered once again.
And the journey seems far from over.

One moment erases all your progress.
One moment hurts and makes you cry.

In one moment, you’ve gone from whole to broken.
In one moment, you’ve lost what you worked hard to gain.

Overtime, you’ll feel even more alone and beaten.
Overtime, you’ll slowly regain some confidence and joy.

And seasons will never stop turning.
And there will be fewer ups than downs.

Wherever you are, you don’t have to let that one moment define you.
Whatever path you’re on, know someone else is along the same trail.

There is a new tomorrow so let’s travel hand in hand.
The journey is always easier when there is more than just one.

 

Monday Reflections: Lingering Monster

A fun-filled night out with friends.
A few good smiles and laughs.

Some heartbreaking news.
Some sorrow-filled tears.

Whatever the reason.
Whatever the cause.

The memories still haunt.
The monster still lingers.

———————————————————————————————————————————

I’ve been seizure free for 15 months now. It’s a length of time that I thought I would never see again, but I finally did! As the distance of when my last seizure occurred increases, you’d think the fear would have slowly faded away by now. This is not the case.

There is no certainty that the monster will never strike again. There isn’t a lifetime guarantee, and there is a lot of fine print to read.

The decisions I make everyday are not made lightly. If I want to stay up late and have fun with my friends, I need to carefully consider the consequences and take steps to minimize them.

When things become overwhelming and the heartache is very strong, I need to remind myself to focus, cope, cry and move on.

Whether the moment is created by extreme happiness or sad misfortune, the monster can still be triggered. That cloud of fear won’t ever be gone, but I need to step back and just breathe.

Neither of us chose this, but neither of us need to go through this alone. One can’t always be strong, and I’ve stumbled a lot more times than I’ve let on. But I’ve found a place where I can listen and be heard, and you should find yours, too.

Finding your place can make a world of difference, and today I reflect on that.

Epilepsy Foundation of Texas: Support Groups

Dear Mom,

Mom,
I could tell you that you’re the best friend any girl could ever ask for.
I could tell you that you’re the kindest person in the entire world.
I could tell you that you’re the strongest and loveliest person I know.

I could tell you all these things, but I’d only be saying what you already know.
Instead, I’ll tell you all the non-mushy things I’ve never said before.

Mom,
You’re the most stubborn person I know. You simply won’t stop to rest.
You’re beyond scary. Those “What did you say?” eyes will always haunt me.
You’re a master lie detector. You’re the reason why I’m such a bad liar.

You’re crazy, weird and funny. You’re simply one of a kind.
You’re the wonderful woman I’ll always aspire to be.
Mom, I love you, and I hope you have a great birthday!
 

Monday Reflections: One in twenty-six

Twenty-six people living ordinary lives.
Some learning to walk for the very first time.
Others with wrinkles around their eyes.
All filled with dreams waiting to be realized.

Then, one of those twenty-six is caught off guard.
Their greens turned red. Their ups turned upside down.
Their life taken away by a silent, electrical terrorist.

One in twenty-six people will hear three life changing words.

You have epilepsy.

I’m the one in 26.

I will always be tired.
I will always have a foggy memory.
I will always be a tiny bit moody.
I will always wonder why.

But I will never give up.
I will fight for the next one in twenty-six.
I will be there to offer a helping hand.

 

Living with epilepsy isn’t easy, but it hasn’t been all bad. I’ve learned how strong I can truly be, and how I can make a difference. This past month, I was able to offer some advice to a girl who had just been diagnosed. Being able to help her make sense of everything and guide her through this difficult time has made every painful moment worthwhile. If I had decided not to get back up all those times I thought I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to offer her solace today. Sticking it out is difficult, but never impossible. Today I reflect on that. 

Here and There

This is something I wrote back in 2007 when I was adjusting to college and being on my own for the first time. As graduation season comes to a conclusion, I feel the following poem is only appropriate. Going off to college means being surrounded by an unfamiliar environment that is filled with so much potential. It means meeting new, interesting people who will make everything worthwhile. While both are wonderful and exciting, there is still a sense of loss for the life we’ve left behind. Continue reading

Life is but a waterfall

Sometimes there are no words to describe your thoughts because they are a jumbled up mess. Sometimes curve balls get thrown your way, and you can’t dodge them. Sometimes you feel so lost that there is no way of finding your way back. Then, from out of nowhere, there is a tiny ray of light shining through the dark clouds. There is someone out there who makes you feel like you aren’t alone and everything is going to be alright. Continue reading

Is it “Day and Night” or ‘Night and Day”?

 

To the Sun and the Moon,

The light escapes me.
Sunlight. Moonlight.
Which one comes first?

Why do we belong with the Day and not the Night?

Nocturnal owl,

Who’s to say we can’t live in your world?
Who’s to say we don’t quite fit in?

With those big glowing eyes, you can see hidden life.
You can see moments that light cannot capture.
You can see the beauty amongst the shadows and the darkness.

I wish I could see the beauty of both worlds like you do.

Monday Reflections: Time

Time does not yield, much less stop.
It’s always moving
It’s always passing.

Time isn’t something we can hold onto.
It isn’t tangible.
It isn’t reversible.

Time doesn’t tell us how much we’ve been given.
It could be today or tomorrow.
It could be years from now.

Time is a mystery so we should live it like tomorrow might never come.