Dear Mom,

Mom,
I could tell you that you’re the best friend any girl could ever ask for.
I could tell you that you’re the kindest person in the entire world.
I could tell you that you’re the strongest and loveliest person I know.

I could tell you all these things, but I’d only be saying what you already know.
Instead, I’ll tell you all the non-mushy things I’ve never said before.

Mom,
You’re the most stubborn person I know. You simply won’t stop to rest.
You’re beyond scary. Those “What did you say?” eyes will always haunt me.
You’re a master lie detector. You’re the reason why I’m such a bad liar.

You’re crazy, weird and funny. You’re simply one of a kind.
You’re the wonderful woman I’ll always aspire to be.
Mom, I love you, and I hope you have a great birthday!
 

Monday Reflections: One in twenty-six

Twenty-six people living ordinary lives.
Some learning to walk for the very first time.
Others with wrinkles around their eyes.
All filled with dreams waiting to be realized.

Then, one of those twenty-six is caught off guard.
Their greens turned red. Their ups turned upside down.
Their life taken away by a silent, electrical terrorist.

One in twenty-six people will hear three life changing words.

You have epilepsy.

I’m the one in 26.

I will always be tired.
I will always have a foggy memory.
I will always be a tiny bit moody.
I will always wonder why.

But I will never give up.
I will fight for the next one in twenty-six.
I will be there to offer a helping hand.

 

Living with epilepsy isn’t easy, but it hasn’t been all bad. I’ve learned how strong I can truly be, and how I can make a difference. This past month, I was able to offer some advice to a girl who had just been diagnosed. Being able to help her make sense of everything and guide her through this difficult time has made every painful moment worthwhile. If I had decided not to get back up all those times I thought I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to offer her solace today. Sticking it out is difficult, but never impossible. Today I reflect on that. 

Here and There

This is something I wrote back in 2007 when I was adjusting to college and being on my own for the first time. As graduation season comes to a conclusion, I feel the following poem is only appropriate. Going off to college means being surrounded by an unfamiliar environment that is filled with so much potential. It means meeting new, interesting people who will make everything worthwhile. While both are wonderful and exciting, there is still a sense of loss for the life we’ve left behind. Continue reading

Life is but a waterfall

Sometimes there are no words to describe your thoughts because they are a jumbled up mess. Sometimes curve balls get thrown your way, and you can’t dodge them. Sometimes you feel so lost that there is no way of finding your way back. Then, from out of nowhere, there is a tiny ray of light shining through the dark clouds. There is someone out there who makes you feel like you aren’t alone and everything is going to be alright. Continue reading

Is it “Day and Night” or ‘Night and Day”?

 

To the Sun and the Moon,

The light escapes me.
Sunlight. Moonlight.
Which one comes first?

Why do we belong with the Day and not the Night?

Nocturnal owl.

Who’s to say we can’t live in your world?
Who’s to say we don’t quite fit in?

With those big glowing eyes, you can see hidden life.
You can see moments that light cannot capture.
You can see the beauty amongst the shadows and the darkness.

I wish I could see the beauty of both worlds like you do.

Monday Reflections: Time

Time does not yield, much less stop.
It’s always moving
It’s always passing.

Time isn’t something we can hold onto.
It isn’t tangible.
It isn’t reversible.

Time doesn’t tell us how much we’ve been given.
It could be today or tomorrow.
It could be years from now.

Time is a mystery so we should live it like tomorrow might never come.

Monday Reflections: Silver Linings

When your thoughts become overcrowded,
remember there is a silver lining behind each dark cloud.

When the hefty storms leave you feeling like a weeping willow,
remember the tempest will leave behind a beautiful rainbow.

At times, the world will seem overwhelming.
At times, everything will be overbearing.

But when you feel like you’re at your weakest,
remember you are not alone.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My Monday reflections: Life isn’t perfect, and we all have different obstacles we face. Your problem might be different from mine, but we all go through the same motions. Knowing this, lets me realize we share the same experiences so we aren’t going through life alone.

Let’s all talk about it and raise awareness for National Epilepsy Awareness Month!

National Epilepsy Awareness Month Banner

November is epilepsy awareness month. And as the month rolls on, I look at my disorder and see how it has come, gone, returned and evolved in the process.

Epilepsy monster, medicines upon medicines never calmed you.
After years of toil, I thought surgery would do the trick.
For three years, you laid dormant and silent.
I thought I was free of you for good.

Now, you’ve come back with so much anger.
You are no longer the small bursts of blank stares I faced daily.
You announce yourself with a sense of impending doom.
And present yourself with a giant convulsive charge.

You’ve stricken fear in those around me.
You’ve even shaken me who knows you best.
Epilepsy monster, you can play with my mind.
But you will never have my soul.

Epilepsy is a seizure disorder that affects 65 million people in the world. Share your epilepsy story, and let’s help raise awareness about this neurological disorder because we are not alone!

A strangers kindness

Since last December, I’ve been learning to deal with epilepsy all over again. This new version of epilepsy has come in the form of grand mal seizures and not my previous complex partial seizures. My body doesn’t like the physical exhaustion this new type leaves, but it beats having them sparingly versus small handfuls of them almost every other day like before.

Today was going to be a fun day. I was not just going to run errands, but I was going to go shopping at all my favorite geeky stores. Epilepsy had a different plan in mind.

As I made my way through the wonderful nerdy aisles at Game Stop, the feeling of dread aura came over me. Knowing I had little time before the seizure would begin, I quickly alerted my husband and found a corner to sit in.

As usual, I don’t remember much of the event, but I remember the kindness of a nameless stranger.

While some were busy being nosy by starring at my convulsing self, a particular wonderful woman offered my husband a helping hand. She helped him turn me on my side, brought him napkins to help clean the spit and blood coming out my mouth. She even went to the Whole Foods next door and bought me some cold water so I could hydrate after the ordeal.

When the paramedics arrived, she quietly left so she wouldn’t get in the way and didn’t even wait to receive a thank you. To this nameless stranger, I offer you the following words as a form of my gratitude.

In a world of darkness, I know there is still hope.

In a place where there is much cruelty, I know kindness still exists.

These things I know because I saw them today in the considerate actions of a stranger.

Without knowing who I was, you showed all the concern friends give to one another.

Nameless stranger and now my forever angel, thank you for your help.