Monday Reflections: Lingering Monster

A fun-filled night out with friends.
A few good smiles and laughs.

Some heartbreaking news.
Some sorrow-filled tears.

Whatever the reason.
Whatever the cause.

The memories still haunt.
The monster still lingers.

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I’ve been seizure free for 15 months now. It’s a length of time that I thought I would never see again, but I finally did! As the distance of when my last seizure occurred increases, you’d think the fear would have slowly faded away by now. This is not the case.

There is no certainty that the monster will never strike again. There isn’t a lifetime guarantee, and there is a lot of fine print to read.

The decisions I make everyday are not made lightly. If I want to stay up late and have fun with my friends, I need to carefully consider the consequences and take steps to minimize them.

When things become overwhelming and the heartache is very strong, I need to remind myself to focus, cope, cry and move on.

Whether the moment is created by extreme happiness or sad misfortune, the monster can still be triggered. That cloud of fear won’t ever be gone, but I need to step back and just breathe.

Neither of us chose this, but neither of us need to go through this alone. One can’t always be strong, and I’ve stumbled a lot more times than I’ve let on. But I’ve found a place where I can listen and be heard, and you should find yours, too.

Finding your place can make a world of difference, and today I reflect on that.

Epilepsy Foundation of Texas: Support Groups

Seizure free for one year!!!

Memories of the past three years float around in my mind. As I sort through the trying and sunny times, it’s almost impossible to put all my feelings into words.

There is heartache for the loved ones I’ve lost along the way. There is fright and frustration for the storms I’ve had to face.

There is embarrassment for all the silly things I’ve managed to do. There is love and gratitude for the kindness and encouragement my family and friends have given me.

There is a sense of accomplishment for sticking it through. And there are fuzzy, warm motions stirring inside today, and I can’t help but smile.

It’s hard to believe that 365 days have come and gone, but the day is finally here!

Today, there is a purple sunrise, and it simply feels like a dream.

I’m one year seizure free!

Tuesday Ramblings

Everyday we learn new things. Our surroundings make us look at things in a different way. What we hear shapes our thoughts and opinions. Whether we learn something good or bad, everything we perceive is processed. Visual, acoustic and tactile perceptions are encoded and become part of our short-term and even long-term memories.

Last week, I learned something VERY important. Okay, maybe it’s not that important, but something worth mentioning. It’s the last piece of solid advice my old boss passed down to me. So what is this great piece of wisdom he bestowed on me? Well, here it goes.

Everyone hates Mondays. They are terrible because the fun has come to an end, and we must carry on with our adult responsibilities. Plus, who can possibly love a day that marks the conclusion of happy times?

On Tuesday, everyone has just survived Monday, but the long week is still ahead. Friday can’t even be seen in the distance.

On Wednesday, everyone is like “Yass, it’s humpday!” We’re almost there, and the worst is far behind us.

On Thursday, you can see the finish line! Friday Jr is here, and freedom is just around the corner.

On Friday, everyone is FRIYAY! We have those Friday feelings, and the finish line to happy hour is finally here.

In conclusion, there is no point to Tuesday. It is by far the worst day of the week, and it simply sucks!

Once you learn to read, there is no stopping you from reaching your goals.

 

Letters turn into words, which combine to form sentences.
With these tools, life is jotted down and history is recorded.
Through those stories, we learn, adapt and become better.

But what’s the use of black ink on paper?
What’s the use of literature with no one there to read?

In our youth, what we are exposed to helps shape our future.
Without the necessary instruments, it would be difficult to grow.
And to cultivate those skills, it takes a team.

Reading does more than nurture our mind.
It opens the world to endless possibilities. 
It gives us the opportunity to succeed. 

 

At the age of eight, my older brother was graduating from high school. As I saw a girl walking up the stage to talk, I asked my mother why she was addressing the audience when no one else was. My mother went on to say that the young lady was the top student of the graduating class. She was the valedictorian. Listening to her well versed speech, I knew I wanted to be just like her.

I was fortunate enough to have parents who instilled in me the importance of education. I attribute my success to the first of many books my mother read to me as a child. Through her words that soon became mine, I read and read, until I was that girl on the stage.

Please join me in making a difference in a child’s life. Help teacher’s acquire the tools they need to help their students grow. Make a donation to Read to succeed – One Step at a Time

Missing Grandma

Four years have come and gone.
1,460 days have arrived and passed.

Time wasted no time to stand still.
The world just kept turning round.

For 35,040 hours, I’ve missed you.
For 2,102,400 minutes, my heart has ached.

I know you’re in a better place.
I know your pain is no more.

But I wish I could hug you one more time.
I wish I could see your beautiful smile.

Time hasn’t eased the pain,
But it also hasn’t erased the memories.

Those dear moments will keep you alive.
And Grandma, I will always love you.

Life is but a waterfall

Sometimes there are no words to describe your thoughts because they are a jumbled up mess. Sometimes curve balls get thrown your way, and you can’t dodge them. Sometimes you feel so lost that there is no way of finding your way back. Then, from out of nowhere, there is a tiny ray of light shining through the dark clouds. There is someone out there who makes you feel like you aren’t alone and everything is going to be alright. Continue reading

A toast to endings and new beginnings

A force of energy and excitement surrounds me.
I’ll be leaving the familiar for the unknown.
I’ll be taking on a new adventure where possibilities will be endless.

Amongst the enthusiasm for the anticipation of the new journey,
hidden underneath is a sense of loss and heartache.

I’ll miss the wonderful shared conversations.
I’ll miss the comradeship of great friends,
but all beginnings must have endings.

Here’s a toast to the great times we’ve shared.
Here’s a toast to the future that holds great promise.

Monday Reflections: Not Again

They say with age you get wiser, and through those years, you’ll learn from your mistakes. I guess I haven’t.

When I was seven, my parents were expanding the house. I should have known that construction and nails come hand in hand, but I was a kid; and it was summer.  It was just 85 degrees, which is very good weather considering hot Texas summers.

Eager to do who knows what outside, I ran out of the house without my shoes on. I wasn’t much more than a few feet out the door when I felt something pierce the bottom of my right foot.

Instantly, I remembered what my parents told me time and time again. “Don’t go outside without your shoes on!”

As I lifted my leg, I saw blood dripping down. Oops, I thought. I knew my parents wouldn’t be so happy about this.

I hopped all the way inside, leaving behind a red trail. They found it funny seeing me hop around. Their happy expression soon faded, as their glance fell on my foot. My mom being a mom started to cry. Giving me a disapproving look, my dad took a look to see the damage I’d made.

The thing I should have learned from this is to never go out barefoot when nails could be near by. Now, let’s flash forward two decades later.

Summer, 85 degrees, barefoot, water gun fight…nails…blood

Yes, I did it again! I managed to get stabbed by a nail on my right foot.

No one told me to run toward the guest house being constructed in the back of my parent’s house. No one told me to, but I just needed to get away so I could load up on some more water ammo.

I’m an adult now so it would look very ridiculous to see me hopping around. Instead, I just hold the pain in, as I try to walk as normal as possible.

So what do I reflect on today, then? Should I reflect on the things children do that they shouldn’t, or do I reflect on the fact that adults do the same things too?