Monday Reflections: Lingering Monster

A fun-filled night out with friends.
A few good smiles and laughs.

Some heartbreaking news.
Some sorrow-filled tears.

Whatever the reason.
Whatever the cause.

The memories still haunt.
The monster still lingers.

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I’ve been seizure free for 15 months now. It’s a length of time that I thought I would never see again, but I finally did! As the distance of when my last seizure occurred┬áincreases, you’d think the fear would have slowly faded away by now. This is not the case.

There is no certainty that the monster will never strike again. There isn’t a lifetime guarantee, and there is a lot of fine print to read.

The decisions I make everyday are not made lightly. If I want to stay up late and have fun with my friends, I need to carefully consider the consequences and take steps to minimize them.

When things become overwhelming and the heartache is very strong, I need to remind myself to focus, cope, cry and move on.

Whether the moment is created by extreme happiness or sad misfortune, the monster can still be triggered. That cloud of fear won’t ever be gone, but I need to step back and just breathe.

Neither of us chose this, but neither of us need to go through this alone. One can’t always be strong, and I’ve stumbled a lot more times than I’ve let on. But I’ve found a place where I can listen and be heard, and you should find yours, too.

Finding your place can make a world of difference, and today I reflect on that.

Epilepsy Foundation of Texas: Support Groups

Monday Reflections: Finding Yourself

 

The atmosphere is but a blank canvas. Color exists only in the form of charcoal grays.┬áI’m standing in the middle of nowhere where the mountains are my only companions.

I tip toe across this rocky terrain hoping not to fall through the cracks. In this place, I’m searching for the girl I used to know. I’m looking to find traces of her existence that might still remain. Continue reading