This is for you, the one I never got to meet.

I could see your bright smile long before I ever saw your face.

I could hear your cries and sobs because you needed a diaper change.

I could feel your warm hugs when you needed my comforting embrace.

I could imagine all the memories we’d create through the years.

I could picture you reaching all your milestones.

I could. I could. But I didn’t get to.

I love you even though I never got to meet you, and I always will.

I’ll tell those that come after you how special you are to me.

A piece of you will always be in my heart, and I will never forget you.

When I give my last breath, we will finally meet.

In paradise, I promise to make up for all lost time.

I will hold you, make you smile and laugh.

Because that’s what mommies are supposed to do.

I wish I could say life is a bed of roses without thorns, but this would be a lie. My older sister was in her second trimester when she lost her twin daughters. My friend was just five weeks pregnant when she had her first miscarriage.

Besides being a mom to a kid with four paws, I have no children of my own. I’ve never experienced life growing in my womb, but I still feel a sense of loss. I can imagine my two eight-year-old nieces pleading for me to make them another tea party. I can picture their poor drawn color penciled Happy Birthday and Valentines Day cards, which would say I was their greatest aunt, or maybe even their best friend. Those cards would mean the world to me more than any beautifully crafted Hallmark card.

For all the moms who’ve lived this nightmare, I cannot say that I know what you are going through. I cannot say that I know exactly how it feels, but I do know that you aren’t alone. The world might feel a little more broken, but your family and friends are there to help you through it all.

Life is a bed of roses filled with painful thorns, but it’s still beautiful. Roses are wonderful, and need someone to tend to them. Let those who love you be your gardeners to help put yourself back together again.

Here and There

This is something I wrote back in 2007 when I was adjusting to college and being on my own for the first time. As graduation season comes to a conclusion, I feel the following poem is only appropriate. Going off to college means being surrounded by an unfamiliar environment that is filled with so much potential. It means meeting new, interesting people who will make everything worthwhile. While both are wonderful and exciting, there is still a sense of loss for the life we’ve left behind. Continue reading

Life is but a waterfall

Sometimes there are no words to describe your thoughts because they are a jumbled up mess. Sometimes curve balls get thrown your way, and you can’t dodge them. Sometimes you feel so lost that there is no way of finding your way back. Then, from out of nowhere, there is a tiny ray of light shining through the dark clouds. There is someone out there who makes you feel like you aren’t alone and everything is going to be alright. Continue reading

Is it “Day and Night” or ‘Night and Day”?

 

To the Sun and the Moon,

The light escapes me.
Sunlight. Moonlight.
Which one comes first?

Why do we belong with the Day and not the Night?

Nocturnal owl.

Who’s to say we can’t live in your world?
Who’s to say we don’t quite fit in?

With those big glowing eyes, you can see hidden life.
You can see moments that light cannot capture.
You can see the beauty amongst the shadows and the darkness.

I wish I could see the beauty of both worlds like you do.

Monday Reflections: Time

Time does not yield, much less stop.
It’s always moving
It’s always passing.

Time isn’t something we can hold onto.
It isn’t tangible.
It isn’t reversible.

Time doesn’t tell us how much we’ve been given.
It could be today or tomorrow.
It could be years from now.

Time is a mystery so we should live it like tomorrow might never come.

Monday Reflections: Silver Linings

When your thoughts become overcrowded,
remember there is a silver lining behind each dark cloud.

When the hefty storms leave you feeling like a weeping willow,
remember the tempest will leave behind a beautiful rainbow.

At times, the world will seem overwhelming.
At times, everything will be overbearing.

But when you feel like you’re at your weakest,
remember you are not alone.

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My Monday reflections: Life isn’t perfect, and we all have different obstacles we face. Your problem might be different from mine, but we all go through the same motions. Knowing this, lets me realize we share the same experiences so we aren’t going through life alone.

Monday Reflections: The Beast Within

How do you live with a monster in your head?
How do you continue when it tries to knock you dead?

I’ve found myself caught between two worlds.
There’s the easygoing Dr. Jekyll.
And there’s the frightening Mrs. Hyde.

Jekyll and Hyde.
Which one really am I?

I can’t control the latter.
I want to hold onto the former.

When there is no solution, there are two things you can do.
You can succumb to the maddening sadness and let it take its toll.
Or you can make the best of the situation with all your heart and soul.


My Monday Reflections:
We never know what cards we will be dealt with, but it’s fruitless spending our energy trying to alter the things we cannot change. Life must go on. Why not make the most of it with the ones we love?

 

Monday Reflections: Why must weekends end?

Melodic sounds of Bach and Mozart hum through my ears.
The aroma of fresh, hot coffee fills the air.
It’s a slow morning, much like all Mondays are.

One wishes weekends could be long-lasting.
One wishes we could have slept just a bit longer.
But weekdays have a way of getting here before expected.

I know “end” is in the word, which is why it doesn’t last.
But why can’t there be more days in the weekends?