Disappointed in myself is what I am today. I’ve done so well just to ruin everything for one minor mistake due to simple laziness. Last night, one of my many medication alarms went off, but I failed to get up to take my medicine.
So, what was so important that I couldn’t just get up from the couch to go get it? Nothing. Nothing was important and that’s what’s so disappointing. Yesterday, I told myself there were only a few minutes left in the episode so I could get up and take my medicine when it was over. After those few minutes passed, I forgot what I was supposed to do. I went to bed, and the nighttime box remained filled.
I didn’t realize my mistake until the morning when my first alarm went off. As I reached for Thursday’s pill container, I saw that a pill remained in Wednesday’s container.
What had I done? Or, rather, what had I failed to do? Waiting for that show to end was inconsequential. Now, I could have possible repercussions for my lapse in judgement.
I’ve lived with epilepsy for far too long now to make that stupid mistake, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is wait it out, take my meds when the next alarm goes off, and hope everything ends up being alright.
I hate feeling the way I do right now — nervous and scared. And, I can’t stand that I have to rely on those AEDs to keep my seizures at bay. I can’t slip up again so I need to do better. I will do better.