Monday Reflections: Epilepsy Visualized

I’m alone. I’m in company with myself. My thoughts, my consciousness are my only companions. Between these four walls, I’m isolated from the life I used to live. I’m removed from what was and what will never be.

In this place, change is nowhere to be found. Everyday is the same, constant. Each Cloned Day blurs into one. And in this oneness, I’m alone.

Light shining through and eventually fading from my window are my only reminders that Time is indeed changing. Without any consideration, Time passes and pays little to no attention to the mess that stirs deep inside.

This routine blandness is overwhelming.

Alarm. Medication. Pain. Exhaustion. Sleep. Repeat.
Alarm. Medication. Pain. Exhaustion. Sleep. Repeat.

My invisible monster is no longer hidden. In this quarantine, it is vivid now more than ever. A reflection of my inner self is visible. My already quarantined mind transitions into this new world seamlessly.

My dear friend, Epilepsy, fits in perfectly. And it takes on an almost tangible form because this quarantine is no different from the one I was already living in.

Managing life with epilepsy isn’t easy. Darkness tries to dim the light. There are more blues than yellows. You fail to see the ups and focus on the downs. The struggle is always going to be there. And in these times, it’s easy to feel alone and forgotten. We just need to remind ourselves that we are stronger than epilepsy.